Voluntary or Self-Employed?

In my more than 3 decades of existence, I had never been employed enough to be registered in my country's social insurance. I just realized this today. I have to double check this but it seems that I first registered for it was because of my husband's business. I had a few months of employment before that but those were like a couple of summer job, and short term contracts. 

Why I ended up like this, I really don't know. I value my freedom to work too much that I ended up as a freelancer for life without social insurance? That I, instead, chose the more permanent ties with getting married early? Why? ? How can I make this work? Are there other people who took the same path like me? Yes. I know one. Definitely. Ogeez. I don't have enough kids to say that I've been busy as a married woman so what now? Ugh. Harsh reality. 

Almost too late for becoming employed. It's not really very appealing for me. My only way through this is invest, invest, invest. One day I might have enough courage to start my own business but for now, I will have to straighten up my social insurance and the likes. I am not familiar with how the Korean social insurance works so that is something that I have to look into. One thing for sure, their population is decreasing while that in my home country is still a healthy number. 

So going back to voluntary or self-employed. 

"Usually, this member was not yet employed or was never employed when he first registered with SSS. He first registered with SSS using the RS1 form, together with proof of his source of income as Self-Employed. His RS1 form was approved and stamped by SSS.

...professionals who are not employed by companies or other people. They earn their own income."

- (SSS blogsite )

I definitely fall under self-employed. (If my memory serves me right.) Now, if only that government website will work soon so I can check it myself without having to ask my mom there. It takes a looong time to get things done there. 

One of the downside of having my own time to work is not having an employer pay their share in my social insurance. I pay for all my own. Oh, well. Choices. 

Well, that's all right. I'll do my duties as a member without expecting a lot in return since their services suck. It's a good place to park a bit of dough anyway. I'll also look into another entity. 

Come to think of it, I am still blessed. My parents were wiser enough to have something going for me in spite of/while I have consistently refused to find a job in the government. 

Side note. I dreamed a creepy one last night about the lawn in my childhood house littered with poisonous-looking green snakes and of their old skin.  

Hormonal kids, why do you even exist?

Three more sessions and I'm done with them. They had totally almost pushed my limits last night. I just can't seem to move on. I almost cried with anger and frustration at that time. I really felt I needed to. A day after, I still feel I just have to.

There are good days but it' mostly bad. I try to understand these hormonal kids as I've been there myself not so long ago. I've had my antics when I was in high school. I remember a couple as freshman when I had my earphones glued on ear, hidden with my long hair during class. Another one when I kept on reading a rented book during a Social Studies class. The teacher confiscated the book and it took me weeks to get it back through her nephew who luckily was also my classmate. I had to pay a little bit more overdue penalty on that one. Learned my lesson though.

There was also another teacher at that time who was our first period teacher who really took a bit from us. We were such the rebels and I don't know exactly what we did but that teacher walked out on us a couple of times. He was actually a nice teacher, adorable looking, and a softie like me as I realized lately. I felt bad that he had to suffer that from us.

I've had a few brushes here and there but nothing worse than that book. Yes, I've been scolded for not paying attention in English, Social Studies, and Science classes. Those I remember vaguely...my attention span can be pretty short sometimes and some teacher can just be quite annoying. They just drone on and it's just so easy to tune out that I forget that I sometimes end up doing something else to keep myself occupied.

I have to get back into that feeling to better understand these teens. The language problem is another one but hey, that's why I'm there. It's time to move on to prepare for the next three remaining sessions. But I will have at least one Korean assistant teacher in the room next time.

This is a job I signed up for until this month. If I continue coming home with a heavy heart and a bag of frustration that I need to be alone in the car to chill before heading home, I don't see the point of extending it. It can be detrimental to my health and quality of life to be feeling like this every week. I know it's not always be a great class all the time but at least it should not feel like a wreck every week.
This will be the last adolescent class I'll sign up for unless I'm am assured that they will be decent kids. And it should be at a good price to say the least. It just adds to injury that you get the worst kids and not paid on your own figure. I'll be happy to a job that doesn't pay well as long as I like it. If it's going south, no thank you.

Three more sessions to go! Counting!

Jeju Chocolate and Dessert List Lately

Missing the peach mango pie from my homeland makes me want to splurge on this small packets currently available in Mc Donald's this month. 

They have the blueberry and apple pocket pies sold sold separately for 1K. It's not exactly the peach-mango one but hey, a pie is a pie for a pie-lover like me. I tasted the blueberry one but missed out the apple so I just had to come back there yesterday and buy 5. My initial idea was ten...I scaled it down a bit. I'll have the boys taste it and I'm coming back for more next time. I, myself, can finish 2 at least. There 3 frozen ones now but I am still thinking about them. *sigh I may have to satisfy my cravings for these soon and resolve to try to make ones myself. A lot of it! :D (That is --- if I can.)

On the note of desserts, here is another one on my list if ever I hear Jeju. One of my students went there last summer and brought home some for me. It was just sweet of her. Most of them actually brought home something which was sweetly funny. Bamboo towel from China, some special/fancy dark chocolate from Japan (which I forgot the name) and this one from Jeju. 

My Food Conquest's Done --- Oops!

This is my second attempt to make the Maangchi's Bulgogi Stew in Ceramic Pot and I'm almost done with it --- EXCEPT that I forgot to put the enoki mushroom!!! 

I guess I may have to have another go at it this week then. I still have all ingredients in my fridge after all. I can use them up before they go bad. 

My first try was so wrong from the start because I used a non-stick pot and accidentally put the marinaded mushroom to boil. This time, I was able to get my new ceramic pot and had almost thought it all a go until we finished eating. I just realized that I forgot THAT other mushroom. Sigh. 

So I have to rethink my next game plan. ^^ Anyway, hubs and I enjoyed it along with the almost-like-poached egg in it for each of us. Thanks for the inspiration and recipe from Maangchi. 

For my own notes on the recipe. I really have a hard time following the ones in her site since she made the beef and vegetarian simultaneously. Plus, it's all mixed up usually. Sorry :( 

Marinade:

2 pcs of king oyster mushroom, sliced 2-3 mm thinly

1 T soy sauce

2 pcs. garlic cloves

2 t sugar

2 t honey

1/4 t black pepper

Boil. 

2 C of water or any stock (vegie or anchovy)

1/2 t salt + 1/2 t fish sauce

OR 1 t salt

Once boiling, add the following by set:

A. 

2 leeks, diagonally sliced

1/4 C onion, sliced

1/4 C carrots, julienned

Boil open lid for 10 minutes. 

B. 

Then add the softened 28g noodles for 1 minute before adding marinated mushrooms, enoki mushrooms and the spinach leaves. (I omitted the raddish sprouts, red pepper slices and flakes.) Then pop in the egg last minute to cook.

Awesome. I feel like finishing the leftover one now in the pot BUT I am full. ^^

November Shopping Spree

Pre-winter worries make me shop and shop.

If last week was for a few clothing items, yesterday was for that pair of winter boots at last. This one is pretty pricey than my usual buys because I though that it's better to invest a bit more than have me buying one every year. Thing is this might end up being used by my son this winter and not me. It's 240, a bit bigger than my usual which is 235. It turned out to be an inch bigger than my feet but might actually be the perfect fit for him. I guess I may have to share this with him this year, and use the smaller 240 that I bought two years ago. That one will be falling apart soon so maybe it's good until this year. Pushing it to three years in service.

This new one, on the other hand, I hope to be able to use it for at least 5 years. With the rate that we buy new shoes, we get them like almost every two years. It's like 10K per year. I still have the buy-1-take-1 winter flats from last year even though the black one needs to be fixed. I don't know how much it will cost. I'm almost afraid to ask. :D

A for the other stuff I bought online yesterday, it includes 2 lemonade powder and chocolate drink for my son, as well as my Korean Naturalization test reviewer. At any rate, I'm almost ready for winter--clothes and shoes. Other food items and household stuff will be on my next pay check.

My list includes oats, toilet paper, new set of dried fruits and nuts, 3 oxtail stock, cream soup powder, curry powder, mung beans, cheese, yobochobap, and the list may go on unless I stop now.

~~
Update:
The shoes was delivered today around 6 something thru CJ. Hanjin Traspo bringing the drinks has so far called twice but have yet to make it here. I'm a bit doubtful he'll make it here tonight. tsktsk...

When in a Pinch in the Kitchen

So I've been craving to eat Pinoy beef soup this past week only to be disappointed a couple of times. The Pinoy resto didn't have it, I couldn't find the right amount of beef at the nearby mart and it just seem impossible to put it together. And then I found this solution out of desperation!

An already-opened one is waiting for me in the fridge so I just picked up a small Chinese cabbage at the grocery store. I still got some potato and dried ginger so I figured it might do. Anyway, it's just me who will eat it. And it's gone before I realized about taking a photo.

My next one is the carbonara-in-a-pinch using the cream soup powder packet. 

All I need are garlic, onion, frozen mushroom and broccoli. And maybe some cheese and seasonings like salt and pepper. It usually work as it is. But I did add some leftover baked eggplant and almond slivers as garnish this time. 

Food cravings can be tricky even if one is not pregnant. :) But with some imagination, I can always have my carbonara craving whenever I want it. 

And the beef soup as well now. I just have keep a few cabbage leaves frozen on hand for next time. 

On my grocery list it is!

Uniqlo Discount Haul FW2016 Part 1

177 g. 

It took me two years to decide to get myself an Ultra Light Down from Uniqlo. At a price of less than 40k (manufactured last year), I finally gave in. I couldn't bear to get it at more than 50k for two reasons: I'm not sure it's worth it and where it's made. Sorry. 

Anyway, I tried it on with just a Heat Tech bratop underneath and went outside to throw the trash at 10/11 degrees. It wasn't bad. It was warm enough and even hot when I was inside. Good thing that it comes with a small bag to stuff it in. This one is pocketable but without any hood.

I picked it up with pair of smartphone-able gloves to sub for my light blue one.

I also got a dry stretch jacket for my son to wear under his thick padded jackets. He totally insist on just wearing jackets nowadays and his pile of sweats are left unused in the closet. 

And a couple of socks. I got him two pairs last time but he refused I wear them as well. So frustrating that he would seem to be running out of socks every morning when there are a couple lying in his box but he just doesnt want to wear. I hope these ones will not suffer the same fate. 

Here's what I spent today:

Down jacket - 39,900

Dry stretch jacket - 12,900

Socks - 1900*2

Gloves - 5k

Total : 

My possible next haul will be for a pair of heat tech underclothes for my son. And maybe...but it won't be that much. I'm saving a bigger one for the after season sale by next year for that block tech pants. I'm going to get it at less than 10k or even 5K. I'll be patient. 

2nd Knitting Project

Finished my second project today!

I started this one last winter but didn't finish it because the weather got warmer and my bleeding (sweating) hands just didn't help at all. As this month rolled in with dropping temperatures, I thought that I should give it another go and just complete the project.

It took me about an hour and half to do the last 20 something rows. It's 60 stitches per row and every row takes me about five minutes to complete. I tried to do at least 10 minutes everyday this week but once I got started, I can't stop and just do until about 30 minutes. Then, it took me another hour or two to bind off, smooth out the remaining ends and add some additional stuff for functional purpose. That includes researching how-to videos on youtube.

It turned out tight enough and maybe it will loosen up as I use this coming colder months. I''m already looking forward to my possible 3rd project: a longer blue infinity scarf, with stitch and purl.

Photo to follow.

Sweet Potato in a Crock Pot

Since my oven is still out for repair, the rice cooker is full of rice, and it's too late last night when I remembered that I planned on having some sweet potato for breakfast the next day, I was left in a bit of dilemma on how to have them cooked on the fly in the morning.

My solution? The slow cooker! 

Problem:
I want to wake up with food almost ready or me to eat without having to wait to boil on the stove or roast in the oven.

Situation: 

1. oven out for repairs anyway

2. boiling would also take a few minutes

3. I can't use the rice cooker and have a timer since it's full with rice 

Solution? slow cooker

How?

1. Wash and dump 4-5 medium-size and 1 small-sized sweet potato in the pot
2. Add 3/4 C of water but I doubled mine for good measure since I don't want to risk cracking my Crockpot. Who knows what time I'll be able to turn it off and how many hours I will have it there the next day. 
3. Set to cook in LOW. As it turned out, 7 1/2 hours! 

Here's how much water was left. The sweet pots were still solid and didn't crumble but cooked. I don't know about the taste coz maybe it's not that sweet to start with but definitely good enough for our breakfast without a lot of hassle in the morning. 

I'll try to do an experiment later if I reduce the water or set it on HIGH when I can totally keep an eye on it just to be safe. Winter is almost here so slow cooker for soups and oven will be used more frequently.

PH Politics

I'm not really a very political person but with the current news flooding the media about how the Philippines leadership is pushing for more Chinese connections and strains possibly with the western world, I am not really sure.

National News:
PD heading to China. Pinoy business men looking for opportunities to export more to China and increase the tourism market. There's even some infrastructure projects that Ph is looking to have Chinese investing in Ph. I've read some comment about infrastructure is better as long as it's not food, considering that there are a lot of fake and almost health-hazard food products connected to China.
I beg to disagree with that. Neither should be allowed to flourish. Food is health-hazard but infrastructure might spell bigger disaster as they may have bigger safety issues for the masses. Imagine that?

So what will Philippines exactly benefit from doing business with China?

First, non-quality goods flooding the market.
Second, safety-hazard infrastructure that they might bring in.
Did someone say tourism? Aha! Don't they know that Chinese tourists are one of the worst? We've heard of a lot of complains about them here and there and I'm not sure these are the kind that you would want to visit your home country in flocks.

Forgive my anti-Chinese sentiments. I am not really a big fan of Chinese since the Spratly Islands issue started.

Update: Oct. 20
The recent news on the back-to-back typhoons that hit the Northern Philippines has been eclipsed by the PD in China trip. I was not the only one trying to find news about the typhoons but all I see on the online broadsheets are PD and China: how many billions worth of investments he bagged, how he introduced B. Marcos as possibly the next VP, and how he is raising the anti-American sentiments by saying that he's cutting ties with US.

Yeah, right. With US still the main investor in Ph like the BPO industry and more Filipinos moving to US as nurses and still trying, I'm not really sure how that will play out. Worst scene that I can picture is, specially if Trump wins, US will pull out their BPO investments, will lead to more jobless people in exchange for what? Export market for our bananas? More Chinese tourist coming in that doesn't give a **** about our environment? Should we start training our BPO resources to learn Chinese so they can also shift to that market? Duh. Blank wall there. There are more Chinese in terms of population that can very well fill that human resource.
They won't be needing the Filipino people. They only want our natural resources. Oops! Wait! I just remembered. How about the few teachers and Casino OFW working in China now? Would that job possibility increase?

Now, that is the pessimistic view on how I see where Ph is heading if PD will continue on being friendly with China. It's just annoying. At this point, I am really going to be desperate to acquire another nationality before Ph becomes China property. No thank you.

Migrant students struggle to fit in

This article is very close to home, figuratively and literally. I just had to write something after reading this. I've met a few students who are in this situation and it just saddens me to know that a lot more still haven't found their way in the Korean school system. Why? First and foremost, because of the language barrier. This, itself, is not an easy task and it's made more complicated that these are adolescents and teenagers who are in the in tumultuous hormone-ridden phase of their lives. 

I can partly relate as my son has also been a "migrant" student but he came here as a fourth grader. It is still a little bit earlier than if it was 6th grade or middle school student at that. My husband's smart decision of letting him find friends and just play, I think, worked better than if he had to go a Korean language class where they are all boxed in a room learning like it like how most Korean learn English or any other thing for that matter -- it's all talk. Lucky if they have a younger teacher who is more adventurous and not a product of lecture type of classrooms. But let me not be carried away in that sense. I still have to realize that pure fun in my own classes although I'd like to think that I try to get the students more involve than just listen to a lecture. 

Going back to the article, I've just realized that there is no law here that requires foreign parents to send their kids to school. Fine. I'm pretty sure the government can do something about that. 

What really gets me is the sensitivity of the community to these young migrants who, if not taken cared of now, might face more serious problem in the future. I totally agree with the university professor about not forcing them to adapt quickly. The "Korean pali pali" should not be used here. 

“They arrive in Korea at really sensitive ages,” Oh Seong-bae, a professor of education at Dong-A University said. “It’s not right to force them to adopt Korean culture as fast as possible.” He said teachers and schools should acknowledge the cultural differences and enable the students to find a right balance between their two worlds. 

It took more or less one school year for my son to be comfortable in the demanding Korean school system. He didn't or couldn't do most his homework on the first year here as a 4th grader. It stretched a bit into the 5th grade but fortunately, he started to shape up and finished that year with improved understanding of the language like a typical student who has never left the country. Once he hit 6th grade, he is almost independent on doing his homework or school requirements. Sure, he still struggle a bit in writing as he still needs a dictionary to translate some things every now and then but he knows his responsibility of having to complete that anyway. I do "remind" him to start on it early coz he still tend to cram at the last minute often. 

My point here is it shouldn't be that hard for newcomers. My son was fortunate to have both of his parents keen on education. My Korean husband was the one who took care mostly at the start. Let the kid learn at least some basic Korean like giving information about his name, age, where he's from...etc. Just enough to impress the school principal that his Korean language ability is not exactly zero (Honestly, it was almost like that.) We also prepared his previous school credentials and vaccination chart. I'm not sure if they really looked at the numbers on the former but it didn't hurt to show them as they were good ones. Plus, he speaks English and that is still highly regarded here. 

These circumstances might not be the same for the other newcomers but there is a way for them. Everyone in the community just need to find their own way to support these young migrant students. 

~~~~

Migrant students struggle to fit in

Non-Korean nationals skip school altogether and it’s totally legal (Joongang Daily -Oct. 13, 2016)

Twelve-year-old Aziz can barely speak Korean. He had no need to learn the language until recently - when his mom married a Korean man. When Aziz moved from Uzbekistan to Asan, a rural city in South Chungcheong 54 miles south of Seoul, earlier this year to live with his new stepdad, life took a turn to the strange.

In Korea, he had no friends. He knew nothing about the culture. Life couldn’t have been more different from Uzbekistan.

Aziz, a pseudonym, started school at Shinchang Elementary School this semester. He has around 30 classmates, but nobody he can relate to. Not even his teacher. Making eye-contact requires a lot of nerve. Sometimes he doesn’t have it.

“He’s really clever,” said his teacher. “He mastered reading Korean in only two weeks. But he still has difficulty communicating with others, which makes school life in general hard.”

“He doesn’t fit in.”

Aziz is just one of 37 students at Shinchang Elementary School who spent their earlier childhood in a different country, and whose mother or father - or both - are non-Koreans.

The figure soared from just five in 2014, with students mainly coming from Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Ukraine, Belarus and Vietnam. (Asan is known to be heavily populated by foreigners from that region. Most of the foreigners’ husbands are farmers.)

Across Korea, there are thousands of students with similar backgrounds as Aziz. According to statistics from the Ministry of Education, the figure rose from 4,288 in 2012 to 7,418 as of April this year, a 73 percent jump. 

Their backgrounds are similar. So are their difficulties adjusting to Korea. Over 10,000 students are estimated to have arrived in Korea without finding places in schools. Their parents can’t speak Korean, aren’t informed about the education system, or simply don’t care about education, teachers say.

A major loophole in Korea’s legal system is that parents aren’t punished if they don’t send a foreign child to school.

For Korean kids, elementary and middle school is compulsory, and violators (or their parents) are fined a maximum 1 million won ($891).

“Foreign parents come to schools with their children all set to finally send them to classes, only to realize they don’t know anything about the necessary procedures,” said Kim Hyun-sook, vice principal of Shinchang Elementary School.

On the school’s part, nobody can speak the mothers’ languages, which complicates communication problems even more. “We relied on the automated translator from Google to rewrite our admissions forms into Russian,” said Kim.

After that first hurdle, parents struggle to converse with the teachers. When sending out school newsletters, teachers rely on members of the local community to do translations for them. Neighbors who speak a foreign language are invited to a chat room in the smartphone messenger app KakaoTalk, and asked to interpret what the teacher is trying to tell the foreign parent. Faculty at Shinchang Elementary School say they don’t have the budget to hire teachers’ assistants who can speak Russian or other languages, like some successful schools in Seoul.

Kids who fail to fit in at school, said Kim, end up developing psychological issues, such as depression.

“We had one kid who returned to school after taking a year off, and the problem with him is that he would ceaselessly cry at the top of his lungs over the smallest of issues,” Kim recalled. “He was used to spending time alone, so I think he was stressed out over the sudden change of environment.”

A 21-year-old Chinese woman, who declined to give her real name, said she came to Korea three years ago and enrolled in a local high school, only to find life much harder than what she had expected. She was born to a Korean mom and Chinese dad, both working at a factory in Gyeonggi. She knew little Korean.

She managed to go to school for a year. She dropped out and spent the next two years juggling different jobs, working part-time at a convenience store, hair salon, cellphone manufacturing factory and Taekwondo studio. 

Now, she’s “taking time off,” which means unemployed.

“It’s really hard to adjust to Korean society if you arrive close to adulthood,” she lamented.

In another case, 12-year-old Natasha (a pseudonym) arrived in Korea six months ago after her Russian mom divorced her dad, who is an ethnic Korean with Russian citizenship. Now, she spends the entire day trapped in a single-room house in Asan, South Chungcheong.

Her dad leaves home at 5 a.m. and returns after 6 p.m. Her only companion is a 7.9-inch tablet that her dad bought her as a birthday gift last December. When asked why he wasn’t sending Natasha to school, the father said he “doesn’t know how.”

Yang Seung-joo, a researcher at Hanyang University’s Institute of Globalization and Multicultural Studies, said a key problem with these children was that basic Korean wasn’t taught at schools, but usually at some sort of a community center.

“They arrive in Korea at really sensitive ages,” Oh Seong-bae, a professor of education at Dong-A University said. “It’s not right to force them to adopt Korean culture as fast as possible.” He said teachers and schools should acknowledge the cultural differences and enable the students to find a right balance between their two worlds.

Another education professor, Hyun Young-sub of Kyungpook National University, said Korea needs a “surveillance system” through which parents can be closely monitored to see if they are sending their kids to school. 

The current system lacks the necessary vigilance, he stressed. “Under the status quo, nobody can force foreign parents.” 

BY CHE SEUNG-KI, YUN JAE-YEONG [lee.sungeun@joongang.co.kr]

Goodbye Bin-Dug Paperplanes

Just have to say goodbye to my trusty and sturdy Paperplanes shoes today. I finally shelled out some dough to put you to rest after more or less two years of service. 

You've totally served me well and lived over the extended life span after I picked you up in recycling bin back in 102-11th. You still looked okay at that time and I've totally worn you out. If only your toe part were not yet peeling, I would have held on to you longer. But alas! It's time to say goodbye and thank you for being the most comfortable shoes I've had since coming back here. More comfortable than the other ones that I actually paid for. Even though I hated your orange part at first, I have come to tolerate it. All because you were so comfortable to wear. 

Worry not as I have found a sister from your family to replace you. It looks a bit different as it may be of different year made but comfortable still or maybe even better in the long run? That I will have to see. 

So long, farewell. You had a well-lived and loved life. Back to the recycling bin you go now. Again, Thank you. 

Dyeing Navy Project

Early this year, I chanced on some heat tech pants on a post-winter sale sometime around springtime. It was a brown one which I am not really that find off. My basic colors to go to is blue or black and not brown. Two neutral colors are enough to build my limited wardrobe on. It has 81% cotton and the rest is a mix of acryl and rayon. I had to double check that coz my ultimate plan was to dye it in black so I can have one black pants in the summer and another in the winter. In between those seasons would be either wear it with heartech leggings or none. 

After months of putting it off since I usually thought of doing it at night, I finally did it today. I could never get around to it if it's at night since the sink will be full and all the other reasons. 

 

My initial plan was to dye it to black and another faded denim shirt to blue. But then I realized that it would be a bit tedious to do two different colors at the same time because I have a limited containers so I decided to do both in navy blue. I'm guessing that they would have different hue of blue because the other one is brown to start with. Anyway, I can always dye the pant to black once I get tired if the navy blue. I still got my black dye on hand. 

For future references (the instructions on the pack was in any different languages EXCEPT English):

5.8 g pack of Dylon dye powder 

500 ml 60 deg lukewarm water

30 g coarse salt (not the fine one)

It's good for 250 g worth of clothing. 

And about enough hot water to soak the cloth in. I just used the hot water setting from the tap.

Driving Log Part 3 SEpt

Driving Log Part 3

Sept. 3 I had the car scratched pretty badly again. I had to go out to the mart and my BIL's place to pick up some stuff around 9 pm. Since the second place pick up is going to be a soup, I decided to do the mart first. I forgot that it is still early and a cool day at that, and it will be a busy time.

I thought it was supposed to be a quick run to mart mart, and so did a lot of the Koreans. THe parking lot is full. I spotted a good one very near which I had more than once tried but was always filled. So I grabbed it at once. Problem was there was also another car that thought about the quick run (or just simply jerk) and parked perpendicular two meters across, thus making it totally impossible for me to get out. It was really frustrating coz I was trying to make the mart-stop and pick-up quick so I can go back home, sleep early prep for my whole day Korean class the next day. I tried to squeeze my way out but of course it was impossible. I scratched the passenger side door again. This time at the corner of the delivery truck. It wasn't not a good sight, I can imagine, but I dare not to get out of the car. I just wanted out from that parking lot. Fortunately, the delivery guy saw me, paged the driver and out this tall guy came. The delivery guy kind a scolded him and at this time, I tried to wiggle out and prepare once he drives out but boy was the tall guy really a jerk. Instead of being apologetic, he got angry and started to raise his voice. Come on! Just move it! I feel like wanting to shout. THis Korean's tempers really are something. The delivery guy it seemed blamed hm or mentioned about me scratching the my car because of him, or so I gathered. Of course, he had to to be angry about the "unfairness" of being blamed, I think and started arguing. Good thing, the mart guy finally realized it was useless arguing with this jerk and just get him move his car. The delivery guy is way shorter than him although I think he has fighting chance in terms of strenght since he's used to hauling boxes in the mart. I have to thank the guy as he was just doing his job of gettting rid of that bulky car (an SUV) and it's jerk-of-a-driver. 

I've heard Koreans argue loudly before but this was a single time so far that I had this feeling of not being able to get away from there since I was in the car. For a moment, I thought about calling for police. It was just an added stress to see these two Korean guys arguing in front of me. I'm not really used to such. Now that I think of it, I'm not really used to people who argue loudly, only to a nagging mom. :) But no, that isn't just me or my mom, I've heard my neighbors as well at one point in my younger life.  

Sept. 26

I had some errand to do at the County Office so I got the chance to drive to there for the first time today. That area is a bit of a challenge for me coz it is a small two-lane-road but with an entrance/exit to a highway where most big trucks take. Just as I've expected, there were two trucks crossing under highway as I was approaching and another one emerging out of it right after I passed it that I even had to give way to it since it was running faster than me. And then, there were numerous speed bumps and tight curves and a small bridge at one point at even. It was a pretty busy time (around 10 am) so I sure got my share at that area. It would be interesting if I get used to that kind of challenge as it is also where I can take yoga classes again. I used to take the bus last year but perhaps, I can try driving myself to class now. I gotta be brave! Hmm..One more note though: I totally went to the opposite lane (the right turn of the opposite road) around Shinil Apt today. I was blank for a second until I realized that I should be on the right side of the yellow line. Good thing it wasn't a busy time around there and there was no oncoming car except for one a bit far off and another one behind me. Another facepalm moment but I was behind the wheel and all I do was grin sheepishly to myself.  

So far, I've already taken the wider highway (6-lanes) three Sundays due to my Sunday classes. But I am not ye familiar with it coz I'm still afraid to miss my turn. That was one thing I've looked at as plus point when I signed for this Sunday schedule -- to be able to get a feel of highway driving on a regular basis for practice. It all still sound fun. It's easy to combat dullness in driving. All you need to do is change your route. I've driven into a couple of wrong turns a few times and it's just got exciting. I even chauffeured my hubs around once last week when we went libray hopping. (That's my kind of thing.) We went to the three libraries in the area and I had to scout the regular parking space the minute I got off the car after parking in the special area. I have to know the layout of the parking spaces for a newbie like me. There are still a couple more of libraries in the city so maybe there might be a chance to do a part two one day. 

Goal posts:

Sept.: try Cheonan tomorrow?

Oct: try expressway going to Oeam folk town..that should be interesting

Nov - 

Dec. - driving on a snowy day, during and after one

Pensieve Sept

H had finally looked into welfare benefits today. He sent me to pick up the documents to apply but because of my meager-income generating gigs, he seems to say that we may not be qualified for such. Oh, yeah. It seems he's blaming me again. Saying that since I'm earning, I should be the one supporting the family. That it's my turn. That, since we're family, I should do that. I should help him. Help him what?? To be a bum?

If I would foot the bills, he totally won't be forced to find an income. Just like he did for more 7 years when we were living in my hometown, rent-free. He seemed to be satisfied to sell his stocks bit by bit for our living expenses. Yes, we managed to live like that for years when we were there. We scrimped and lived alright. But there what you call my own yearning for financial freedom. I want to be able to do and get some stuff which he won't/isn't willing to provide for so I have to get a couple of source of income. I am fine with that. But with a growing kid that I would like to be able to provide for better, and my own needs as well, I decided to convince them to be back here.

As expected, I am able to get a few jobs by God's grace and earning a bit. The sad thing is, my husband has none since we've been here for the last two years. A few months that he had a chance, he chose to quit. My BIL has been giving him chances a few times but he never really took the bait to work them out. I can totally hear his sigh of exasperation as I hear my own frustration. A few months ago, hubs had asked me to foot the bills. I had been covering the groceries since I started earning a bit so this is an additional one which I really feel I should refuse for the sake of my sanity. Why? If somebody covers the grocery, and foots the bills, I don't think he would get his butt off to find a source of income other that his depleting stocks-for-sale.

That was the straw. After a few emotional outbursts, and tortures, we sat down and I explained why I am not giving in to those bills. It got him a bit and even suggested a divorce. Oh right! You're playing right into my hands. But no..that's not my game. It's gonna be a lose-lose thing if we do now. There's another way if he'd only work on something. I pray.

He came up with selling his car in order to pay the bills. I said I cannot afford that. Then he decided to study for the civil service test that can get him a job if he pass. Thing is he needs money to buy the books to prepare for that. He offered to sell his car to me again in installment basis. I tried to weigh it out. He's got a job plan at least, and I'm using the car anyway, so I shelled out the 250. That's another tricky thing as the car ownership name will still be his since it has still some benefits if it remains so. I may lose out on this --- again. My son says I should just buy my own.
It's more complicated than that.

So he finally looks into government welfare. He has to submit all our bank accounts to do so and that would mean it will show that I am supposedly earning enough to support ourselves. Yeah, right. That can be possible but that's not what I want. I don't want to be the sole breadwinner. I am all for working women but I grew up seeing my father work his hands off to provide for us. My mom helps but it's still my dad who is the main provider. To see it otherwise now is totally frustrating. So I'm doing what I think I should so it will not stay this long.  And I get to be blamed for this now.

Emotional attack but I try to keep my head in check. I won't lose it. I just hope that he pass that test and get a job. Once he's in, my next is to prepare him when he is forced to retire from the government in just a couple of years. I just hope that he won't pass it on his son to be the breadwinner at that time coz P would still be underage by that time.

To let this all out, I just have to write it all.  And perhaps google for some info into this matter.
Wife breadwinner tips from huffington

3. If you’re angry or resentful, find a way to get to the bottom of it. You’ll want to figure out what’s behind your frustration. Is it that you think your husband should be doing more to find work or to get a higher-paying job? You’d like to work less feverishly but feel you have no choice because you and your spouse need the income? You believe your husband should do more to help out in other ways? You’re still harboring a grudge because you think he didn’t pull his weight on childcare duties when your kids were younger? Or might there be deeper marital issues at play?

One exercise Mellan suggests is writing out your feelings in a letter to your husband but not showing it to him. Then, imagine the note he’d write back with his point of view and write that one, too.

I'm ok about earning more. But not about earning alone.

“Convey a positive attitude and sense of teamwork showing that ‘we’re in this together,’”

Use a “mirroring” exercise to help couples have this discussion. Each plays back what the other says without editorial comment. This technique builds more empathy and compassion.

7. Break the tension by finding ways to have fun.
~~~
NY Mag 
Alpha Women, Beta Men

First, the wife starts to lose respect for her husband, then he begins to feel emasculated, and then sex dwindles to a full stop.

There's hope.

Phone Cable Dilemma --- Convenience Store to the Rescue

My knock-off phone cable has been acting strangely for about a few weeks ago. I've checked for possible replacement online and was ready to buy online since last week. But then, before doing that, I thought about checking an offline store at first. That proved to be an unfortunate choice because I couldn't find any store that sells it. It's a bit outdated so it's a little bit hard to find, I thought. I figured I need to find a replacement before we head out on the road this holidays. What I didn't count in was that online deliveries will be super delayed with the holidays coming!

Sunday came and I really had a hard time charging my phone during the whole day that I was out. My phone can only last until afternoon on regular use but it just can't with the heavy translating during Korean class. Good thing that I got my chromebook set up in the local wifi so I was able to use the online translation there. The phone miraculously found it's sweet spot and started charging. But boy! It was very frustrating to connect that thing to the lappy to charge. 

I am getting desperate to find the cable offline more than ever. But I haven't able to after class coz I just had to attend to my body needs, bathroom plus I had my monthly period and all, that I just went home right away. 

6500 KRW

The next day came and I am really getting desperate each hour. I decided to really find it before the day ends. I asked a local young adult student where I can possibly find one and she told me to check out convenience store. I'm like "really?" Even though there's one nearby, I decided to go downtown since the downtown ones would more likely stock up varied stuff and to pick up other stuff as well. After checking out DC marts, Daiso and a small phone accessory shop, I almost gave up until I remembered my last hope. I headed to the best location on the intersection and browsed the store. It wasn't hard to find at all. There it was on a corner a cable brand with all the cables neatly arranged together, even color-coded to easily find the price. It has various kinds and sizes which anyone would ever need in a pinch. I didn't know convenience stores were this cool!

The price is a little bit more than what you can find online. I was eyeing something more multi-functional online at about the same price but the availability and the sturdiness-look of this one makes up for the difference. It's flat cable and some pink part so I'm hoping this will be worth it's price before I change my phone a few years later. Procrastinating cost a steeper price.

Just this Sunday, I also had to do a quick run there to buy a pair of cotton gloves since I forgot to bring one of the three that I have up on the 10th floor. It was a life-saver since I still have to drive a bit more later the day on a sunny day.

So, if there's a random thing needed to buy, I think a convenience store should always be checked out. I got my gloves, and my replacement cable. What a relief!

Bilingualism

6 Reasons why your bilingual child might drop your language.

English is still the dominant language in our home. My 12 year-old son has
reacquired the Korean one since he was 9 after being away (we left when
he was 3). His dad almost never spoke Korean with him at that time. I tried introducing my own language when he was 6 but it wasn't really much. He can understand well and speak a bit before we moved back here but almost lost the speaking skill now. I think, it's really more on putting priority and giving the proper exposure.

Driving Diaries: Driving Practice Alone (July 2016)

July 1

Driving on a rainy day during daytime. It was a short ride from the library to home so it was just a good taste for me to practice. Milestones, milestones. I would have liked to pushed it some more later that night driving another route from our place to my 8 pm class but with three odds against me, new route, rainy and night driving, I decided to opt out. I'll have to try one or two of them first before pushing my limit to three. My hubs gave me a ride and I watched him drive and took mental notes. I feel confident that my mental state should be ready on my next try.

What I remember is I can do 1st gear after I get out of the tunnel and start heading down to the next traffic light. Then, I can go back to D. So basically, gear 1 for the stronger engine break when going down or when it's a bit slippery. My guess. :( Let's see if I can manage to do that soon. 

My worries about driving in the rain has been a bit eased up with my husbands car since it's an automatic. The lights and windshield wiper did it's job without me having to fiddle with it. I would better try it next time. Just an idea now, I'll train my hands to find the controls without looking. I need to be able to feel comfortable adjusting such without having to look for it while driving coz I know how even just a second would count that can be risky. On to my list! 

July 2

For now, I've covered quite a bit this week. That's almost a wrap for June and it's time to set the new ones for this month of July. So what's for this coming months?

Let me see...quick recap and outline for the next ones.

April to May - driving school and license (license and parallel parking at the driving school center)

June - buddy driving, driving alone and bay parking (being more familiar with steering wheel angles and reversing)

July: blindfold panel training for rainy day driving, try new route (KTX area, my Sunday workplace alone), figure out parallel parking

Aug.: downtown driving, then maybe next town with a bit more traffic

Sept.: 

Oct: try expressway (find out how to do the blinking lights, I think that is the emergency one I learned for the test) New route: folk town,

Nov - 

Dec. - driving on a snowy day, during and after one

For this month, I really need to figure out parallel parking in a place where not only with box and a plant as cues. Then, also practice more of bayparking, timed. Right now, I can at least do three tries at best. What I have to take note is not all cars are parked parallel to the parking slot lines. I have to make an initial assessment of the left and right cars' parking and keep an eye on both side mirrors whenever I reverse back into any space.  

On a list mode:

1. parallel parking
2. timed bay parking
3. learn the controls blindfolded

How will do these objectives? (*teacher mode)

1. check out youtube videos and TAKE DOWN NOTES!
2. do mental test, before hands-on practice (stationary)
3. do moving practice
4. final one, real life goal

5PM: From home to the fake lake. Note: Piboho - cross safely when it's green for me, and the opposite oncoming lane is empty. Had the what-should-I-do-here moment before going in the parking lot. 

July 3

I drove to Mc Do with my son today. I took the library- City hall route since the best approach to the store is from the right. The straight route would have saved me some distance and gas but I wasn't sure of a U turn in the 5-Intersection, plus I don't want to risk such uncharted route with my son on board. Going back home, it was almost also a new one for me behind the wheel but since it's a very familiar bus route for me, I felt that I can wing it. I got honk at once though when I hesitated before the right turn in subway station since there were a few big vehicles parked on the corner where I should obviously chance my turn even with the red light on. 

I've also made some decent lane changes albeit a bit awkward. I'm slowly learning how to gauge other cars speed. Boy, if I had known driving was this fun here. It's a never ending challenge for my relatively moderate adrenaline rush existence. (yeah, right) I've got this feeling that it will totally be different driving experience in my own country.

I'm slowly gaining confidence to try the under-the-bridge route soon so that I can save on gas going uphill just to have a traffic light to use. The last time I tried that was with my husband and it wasn't that smooth. He had to direct me when the timing was right since I was still lost at gauging other car's speed as well as which mirror to check it. And boy, I had wanted to take my time and try to decide that on my own. Soon, I will try that. I might try to time the traffic lights at the top of the hill and figure out when the left turn heading inward my area are coming. That will be pretty tricky though so my best bet is perfecting the timing to join a motorway.

One weak point that I have to check myself also is making my mirror checking just a fraction of second. I have the tendency to lose sight of the front coz I get stuck checking out the center and far right side mirror. That is not healthy. Outright dangerous!

So that's about it for today.  Thank God for another safe driving day. 

~~~~~

June 30

Drove to O Station, parked for 2 hours which cost me 2900. I also almost hit the booth after taking the ticket because I forgot to turn my steering wheel to the opposite direction after pausing to get the ticket.

Then, brave enough to go to another Station to update my ACR. Then dropped by at a big mart. Parked at an outdoor parking lot and scraped a small Kia on my way out of the slot. Not that good day.

Note to self:

• straighten up the wheel after turning in a booth
• move about more than half of the car before turning and keep checking the side mirrors when pulling out