I often wondered why is it that a baby comes into a family and someone passes away. I know, there are coincidences and it doesn't happen that way all the time but I always had this slight feeling at the back of my mind that I wouldn't want to bring about a death in the family because of a baby. Absurd, illogical and crazy. Yes. I am totally consciously abandoning that ridiculous idea.
But on the other hand, I just realized today that birth does equate a passing of a loved one. Not totally of course, but it does make us fill in the vacuum of losing someone. Somehow, it gives us a way to make our grieving less painful. It helps us cope with losing someone dear.
These past two years had been really heart-breaking for my father's side of the family. My father has 2 older sisters and 1 younger sister. Except for the oldest one, all of them live in our hometown. Their relationships had not been perfect all these years with occasional feuds and mishaps but they still manage to pull through together somehow. After all, family is family with a good sense of value. He is closest to the second older sister and us kids/cousins had grown up with our aunts and uncles around, especially the ones who live near. But now...it's just so sad to think about it.
Last year, the youngest sister's husband was the first one who passed away due to cancer in the internal organ. A few months later, his wife got hit by a vehicle and died. They have a daughter who was married but separated and childless. I hope she finds happiness again in the future; be it a husband, a child, a profession, a calling, --- a place.
October this year, the second older passed away after battling with her kidney. She had been doing dialysis since last January, about the time that I and my son went back to my hometown for a visit. I knew that I might not see her anytime soon again. She was my favorite aunt and it breaks my heart to see her health go just like that. Still, she was not an easy patient to deal with. That will be one pun.
After she died, her husband passed away silently on his chair one early morning. He did have his own health battles to deal with for years already but he was tough. He smoked, he drank and ate anything but vegetables. He still outlived his wife even if only for a few weeks.
Fortunately, I was able to spend some time with them early this year. It is at this point when they are old, unhealthy and needs caregivers that it's just human nature to show them back that we care. Sadly, that is not the usual case for other developed countries anymore.
I had the chance to be with my aunt at the hospital, visit them at home, assist my uncle put meds on his eyes, massage to my aunt's swollen legs, at least be there even for the short time that we were in town.
My uncle will be buried tomorrow, leaving my cousin behind who had already buried her one and only younger brother years ago, and her mom just a few weeks ago. She must have a very strong heart for God to have given here these cards.
How many times I would find tears flowing freely these following days, weeks and months..I don't know. Fall and winter had left me with a sad note this year. I just pray that I will get through this winter with a stronger heart and a hopeful view for the next spring season.
There is a reason why one of my favorite verse is Eccl. 3:1-8 and a song that I can loop play is Vivaldi's Four Seasons.
 |
| credits to https://jrbpublications.com for the above photo |
No comments:
Post a Comment